I haven’t posted since I’ve moved back to Scarborough, and I’ve already done a few different things so figured I’d condense it into one long post rather than a few small ones which I know I’d never get around to doing.
It’s always strange being back in Scarborough, but some things never change and the locals still amaze me.
It’s fair to say my first week back hasn’t been great. The day after getting back I was straight over to my grandads funeral who died a day or two before Christmas day. The service was short and simple, and there was a lot of faces I didn’t recognise there as my extended family aren’t all that close as far as I’m aware. I think some people would find that kind of sad, but I don’t mind. Family is very much what you make it to be, I’ve got my immediate family and a close-knit group of friends that I consider family also. That’s all I need.
The problem with moving back on the train was that I couldn’t bring a lot of stuff, so I’d planned to head back to Glasgow in about two weeks to collect another load but my dad just threw those plans in the bin and asked “do you want to make a day of it?”. So we set off early Wednesday, arrived around midday, threw my shit in his car and drove back down that evening. Not bad going!
The weather was mostly shit the entire journey, though. Rain and fog.
Every year, me and Iain get shit tattoos together and we’re now into our 6th year. Jeanna was off for the evening, and ended up driving us through.
Iain went for a ghost (inspired by some froth from one of his drinks), and a Loch Ness Monster. While I opted for a camera, and an Irn-Bru can for the Save Real Irn-Bru campaign. (I made the Sunday Post & Daily Record). ITV have also called for a proposed television appearance…
Jeanna even got to colour a little of Iain’s tat in, under Dan’s supervision.
Ayrton even joined in this year – Marking the occasion with a stupid Orange face carefully crafted between Iain and myself. I think it’s actually upside down, which makes it even better.
Done. Same time next year.
We moved on and drank into the night and Jazz had travelled through from Liverpool for a few days, and we met there with a bunch of her friends.
Iain and Ayrton had left around midnight, and I stayed up with Jazz. The clock was approaching 7am at my last check before we managed to get some sleep and I was up and away by 10:30 to grab breakfast before heading out to meet Josh so I could shoot photos for his clothing brand, Flydoh.
We drove out to Crossgates and shot on the train tracks. I was way too hungover for that.
I met with Jazz later that evening for chips and a session throwing away money in the arcade before we headed back to mine for the night.
As it turns out, we broke up a couple of days after. Our relationship was only official for a month, but I think we both agree we’d been together the best part of 6 months, and I’m glad these last photos I took of her during our relationship weren’t ‘work’ photos.
The model shit we did together was always fun, but dumb photos like these will always mean more.
I’ve said a thousand times she’s one of the freest humans I know, and folk just outright need to respect her more. People go through shit in life and she’s had more than her fair share of it. If you know her personally and consider her a close friend, stop taking her for granted.
There’s so much good in this human, and I know because I’ve seen it and actually listen to her.
The following evening was Iain’s actual 30th party with a few close friends and family involved. I didn’t manage to catch a lot of it as I ended up running away from the police amongst other things (don’t ask), but I left my camera behind and some pals took the initiative. So cheers for that Chris and Oli!
I rounded the week off by taking Jazz to York so she could catch her train and to meet up with Jeffels. Jazz left, and me and Jeffels went for a walk and I swear he’s the happiest I’ve seen him in a long time. Boy’s doing good.
It was good to chat a little bit of shit and also deal with some much heavier things.
The thing about talking serious while walking aimlessly is you end up in places you don’t quite remember walking to.
We were in the city centre then the next thing we were out in this field somewhere down the river.
The sun had started to go down and it was pissing it down, so I opted for a shortcut… straight through the field.
By the time we were in the middle, the field had turned into a goddamn lake.
Emotionally I’ve been all over this past week, but I’ve managed to hold it together pretty fucking well. I let myself drink when I was being social, but importantly I didn’t drink when I was on my own or if I thought it would help me deal with what was going on better because track record tells me it doesn’t, so dumb thoughts can get in the bin.
That shit spirals way too easily.
I spent a lot of last year focusing quietly on myself after my relationship with Amy ended pretty horribly at the start of it, and I know I’m in a better place now. Generally speaking I haven’t felt this capable in a long time, and it’s because I surrounded myself with good friends and forgot about the noise of others.
It’s all well and good thinking you don’t give a shit about anything anymore but that’s just an impulse reaction, ’cause you do really. So best just deal with that as best and as honestly as you can.
I want to smash 2018.